Michael Bay diarrhea
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i am craving dick and cupcakes
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
