nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
