i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
