Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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