That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
