Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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