at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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