Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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