remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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