New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
