I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
