Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
