i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
