he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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