so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
