Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
