i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Drunk is not a location!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
