I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
