Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
