in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Randomize
