i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
