Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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