can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
