i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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