Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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