My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
