I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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