i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
