There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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