If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
