She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I stole a fireplace last night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
