just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
