I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
