just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
