I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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