Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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