apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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