i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
