Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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