So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
