Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
