I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
