and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
