Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
