Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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