He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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