Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
