Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Couch. On fire.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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