1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
