So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
