But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
