Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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