I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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