I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
